Wherever you are in the world today, you will most probably feel troubled. There are many kinds of disasters occurring all over the world and, in many places, people are still cleaning up after earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, and wars. How do we cope with all this? Maybe we are not in the middle of trouble and hardship, but this continual strife eats away at our feelings of safety and security.
But then life goes on and we still go to work, to school, to visit our friends, and to develop our own lives. We hope deep down that such things never ever happen to us. Now that it is summer, the stress of school and university will slow down for a while. We can spend this time thinking about and letting the events surrounding us become clear in our minds. The world is certainly teeming with corruption, and people seeking power seem to be taking control, leaving us standing alone and feeling more than helpless.
But it is at times like this when we start to search for what is really important in life. Perhaps we imagine what it would be like to be hit by a tsunami or attacked by an aggressive expansionist power, and when it comes down to the root of our lives, we find ourselves running toward our families.
In times of peace and ease, it is only human that we take some things for granted and, most commonly, we take our family for granted. When we feel fed up with life, angry, or frustrated, it is usually our family who bears the brunt of our rage and frustration. When we are down and feel low, we go crawling back to our family for nurturing and solace. Our families are really so special and so important to our well-being, both spiritually and physically. Why do we treat them so badly sometimes?
So if you are someone who sometimes says or does some things that your family members don't like; if you feel sorry for having hurt a family member; or if you wish you could be closer to your family but haven't been able to, then now is the time to step up and make the change.
Make yourself a list of what you want your familial relationships to be like. Your list could look something like this. I want my family members:
* To be kind to each other
* To not shout at each other
* To show love by kisses and hugs
* To listen to each other properly
* To forgive and forget
* To spend time with each other
* To reach out to each other when one of us feels bad
* To support each other when times get tough
* To be each other's best friend
* To love to be with each other
* To enjoy each other's company
This list could go on and on. But we also have to look at the other side of the coin. Ask yourself, "How am I treating my family? Is what I say and do going to fulfill the above goals I have about my family?" Go on. Make a list of how you act with the family. Perhaps it looks something like this:
* Sometimes I'll accept an apology, but I don't always forget.
* I'm kind when I feel like it, but when I don't, I still expect others to be kind to me.
* I listen to others, but usually I'm thinking about what I'm going to say next.
* I help out when I feel like it, but I usually expect something in return for my efforts.
* Spending time with my family usually takes second place after spending time with my friends.
* If I feel bad, I expect to be nurtured; then when I'm better off, I go on my way.
* Sometimes my family tries to talk to me, but I prefer to confide in a friend outside the family.
* I often find it a chore to go out with the family. Maybe it's because they're a little bit boring compared to my friends.
Does your list look something like that? Do you see any room for improvement in the way you treat your family members? Here comes the challenge. Use your time this summer to make your relationship with your family members better and more loving.
You could promise yourself to work on the person you are having the most trouble with. This could be one of your parents, a brother or sister, an aunt or uncle, and so on. Find just one and concentrate for two weeks on strengthening the bond between you and that person.
"How do I do that?" you might ask. You could start by smiling when you see that person. Be the first one to say "as-salamu `alaykum, how are you today?" Offer to spend some special time with that person. You could sit and talk, but if that's too difficult in the beginning, you could play a game or watch some TV together. Find out what that person needs and offer your help. The idea is to be the one who reaches out and finds the love and caring that exists beneath the angry words and isolation from each other.
Just because people love and care about each other doesn't mean they actually know how to show that love or how to reach out. Sometimes a person's personality does not communicate well. Sometimes they are too busy to express their feelings or to show that they care.
So take hold of the belief that they do care and be the one to step up and make the necessary changes. Just remember that if any kind of disaster were to happen, it is your family you would come running to. So don't wait for a disaster to bring you and your family together. Strengthen the bonds now!
Read More: Islam Online
